Simon est un papa comblé. Il a une femme qui, d’après ce que m’a dit Michel l’autre jour, l’aime énormément et 4 filles toutes aussi belles les une que les autres. Du coup comme c’est galère de gérer 4 bambins au quotidien et qu’en plus ils ont tous une tête à cartonner sur Instagram, Simon a pris quelques clichés de ses petites galères en tant que daron.

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Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space - but it's doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

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why is it that as soon as I come through the front door, I'm immediately forced to strap on my 'parenting UN' flack jacket & hard hat and dive into conflict resolution mode? Anya and Marnie are locked in a long, drawn out battle over the disputed lands of the sofa, the sovereignty of the blanket and who has rightful ownership of the much sort after SKY remote control. Sanctions are put in place to relieve the tension but both sides are showing little willingness to back down. The situation escalates - heated worded, threats to hostages safety (soft toys, clothing, sweets). The result - the TV going off and remote is hidden (in the cutlery draw). During all this Ottie played the role of Switzerland and didn't get involved. Ban Ki-moon could learn a thing or two from me. #wheredoyouhideyourremote #UNparenting #whyamialwaysinthemiddle #familyconflictresolution #adadsworkisneverdone #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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we have A LOT of toys for the girls. Some hand-me-downs, some brand new. We offer up the hand made, ethically sourced, non toxic, bespoke blocks made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway. They look down their nose at them with disgust, decide they're tosh and toss them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging. If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods. Many mornings, you'll find me running around the house, quietly cursing the babies, who've hidden my cash / debit card and /or keys. guess I should get used to this as I hear teenage girls take the same stuff. #stophidingmyshit #pointlessexpensivetoys #allthebabieswantismywallet #girlstakemystuff #ishouldgetusedtoit #fatherofdaughters#dadlife #instadad

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Usually our weekends are jam packed with child related activities from the moment we wake to the moment we pass out, but today has been one of those days when we have achieved the sum total of zero multipled by zilch, or what's become known as a 'nothing day'. We've not contributed to progression of the human race in any way, shape or form & have instead basically just been a drain on the worlds oxygen resources & giving absolutely nothing back in return. I genuinely don't think we even went outside, but everyone both needs and deserves a house day now and again. We won't be winning any awards for most energy expended in a day or be handed personalised 'overachiever' medals, but we worked hard on creating a deep imprint on the sofa & I for one am very proud of what we've accomplished. That's what I call proper team work. #wellwritethisdayoff #teamwork #familyganghang #achievednothingandproud #drainonresources #saturday #fatherofdaughters #fod #instadad #dadlife

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Someone call crime watch! I took this picture of a guy getting mugged in broad day light today. The 2 confidence tricksters are known in the local area and ply their trade by pretending to love their victims and then, when their guard is down, scratching their faces to pieces, pulling their hair and dribbling on them until they are given milk or rice cakes. The suspects are described as looking exactly the same, to the degree that their father cant tell them apart. They are around 2.5 ft tall, talk with a strange accent and are incredibly cute. Some previous victims had said they smell like a childrens play centre toilets but that has yet to be confirmed. #muggedbybabies #twins #parentinginjuries #thelmaandlouiseinthemaking #callcrimewatch #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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Marnie's synapses have been firing on all cylinders recently & have generated a torrent of mind bending questions. Rather than babble & give half answers, we employed Cortana to answer stuff for us as frankly my brain ached when she asked things like: What's inside a black hole? Who invented the royal family? What is a smell? How many people in the world speak dutch (why?) & could dinosaurs ever come back? (Thank goodness for Laptops like this from @curryspcworld - it's faster than my creaking grey matter and the battery lasts longer than my attention span). I returned from getting a cup of tea to find her staring at Netflix having folded the laptop in half (I didn't even know it did that). Guess her thirst for knowledge was satisfied so on to Spong Bob. Who knows, I might actually get some real work done on this @dell, but it's unlikely. #ithoughtshedbrokenit #outtechedbya6yearold #thirstforknowledge #willdinosaursevercomeback #quickerthanmygreymatter #kidsquestions #fatherofdaughters #ad # dadlife #instadad

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Clemmie gave me a pretty simple job this evening - "go pack the baby bag" (we're going away for a night). A plan developed in my head (why can't I take anything seriously?!) I called her in - "well you said pack the baby bag!!", expecting a laugh. She didn't. I then suggested cutting holes in the bottom for their legs to hang out like those dog carriers but @mother_of_daughters was already less than pleased that i'd used her prized leather @kerikitbags for lols, so with my tail between my legs, I repacked. A shed load of nappies, baby crack (milk powder), toys they won't play with & a monitor - There was still enough room for half my family in there! #bottomlessbabybag #mobiletwins #howmuchstuffdobabiesneed #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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After long day of walking around and playing, The twins needed a bath and I needed a wash so day 2 of #dadtakeover ended like this. (I dont run baths just for myself...I'm a man after all). In theory this sharing of a bath was a good idea. In reality it felt like I was an uninvited blue whale who'd gatecrashed a private spa for small people. If looks from babies could kill, I'd have been dead for sure. Strategically placed flannels were used in the taking of this picture. (And yes I took the picture on a tripod before people ask! Im on my own!) On to day 3. #uninvitedbluewhale #bathtime #yesthishappened #yesitookthisphotograph #family #notsuchagoodidea #twins #parenting #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

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Last night - "Oh daddy, remember to make our woodland themed costumes for school tomorrow!" - Why is this the first I'm hearing about this at 8pm the day before you need them - I'm not some 24 hr costume design dept! Considered slapping a door mat on their backs and sending them off as hedgehogs but decided that was shit, so my plan to cuddle up with @mother_of_daughters wilted & died before my eyes & instead was spent contorting sodding coat hangers into wings, wrapping them with cling film, skewering myself attempting to attach fake leaves to jumpers & rummaging around in the loft for brown clothing (of which I can confirm we have none). They were woodland fairies FYI. #icantletthemdown #iloveitreally #iftheydontlikethemimdisowningthem #adadsworkisneverdone #morenoticenexttime #dressingup #woodlandfairies #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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There used to be a time when Fridays nights meant going out drinking with friends and waking up with a hangover that that would require surgery to remove. However Marnie came home today with the dreaded bi-annual "There are nits / lice going around at school" letter, so our Friday nights are now spent carrying out small scale genocide on colonies of unwanted scalp intruders. @mother_of_daughters & I will now spend the rest of the evening quietly observing each other to see which one of us start scratching our heads first whilst mentally cursing all children everywhere. Awesome. #betteryoustartscratchingafterreadingthis #fridaynightarentwhattheyusedtobe #parenting #keepingitreal #nits #dotheyevenhaveapurpose #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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Cooking with the family is important so that they get an early interest in what healthy eating is all about. But when you add two 10 month work experience kitchen hands to the mix who have minimum training and hygiene standards that would get a greasy kebab placed closed down, Jamie Olivers 15 minutes meals turn into Simon hooper's 90 minute botch jobs. In the end you just chuck it all in and hope for the best. The likelihood is that it will get rejected by the discerning clientele anyway. Might as well just short cut the whole process and chuck the raw food directly into the bin. #masterchefiaint #sausageandchipsitis #worstworkexperienceever #ottieatearawgarlicwhole #whydowebother #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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On avoue qu’avec la bouille du papa, on aimerait bien être la maman

Source: fatherofdaughters

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